It's no secret that I'm an extremely lazy person; in fact, it's a damn miracle that I haven't dropped out of college considering my tendency to wait until finals week to do my homework. I'm even worse in the Summer. Due to my lack of academic responsibilities I spend an average of 12 hours in bed everyday. But last week I managed to set a new precedent in apathy when I was too lazy to talk about my favorite Japanese cartoon--Baki the Grappler.
In the last column I gave a brief rundown of the anime, as well as basic trivia on the franchise as a whole. From this point on, I'll be discussing the events that transpire in the New Grappler Baki manga. However, before I get into the story, it's important that I introduce the main characters. Since there are so many, I'll only be talking about the good guys this time.
GOOD DUDES
Baki Hanma
Since the day he was born, Baki has been living in the shadow of his father, Yujiro Hanma. Obsessed with training, he will stop at nothing to be the best around; in fact, nothings going to ever keep him down. His training is unorthodox to say the least. In Baki: Son of Orge, he shadow boxes with a human sized praying mantis (and get's his ass kicked in the process). While I haven't read this for myself, I heard that at one point Baki kidnaps George Bush in order to be put in a maximum security prison so he could fight one of the inmates.
Doppo Orochi
Doppo is known as the Tiger Slayer, which is a euphemism for "he beats the motherfuck out of tigers with his bare-hands." When he isn't training, Doppo runs a dojo where he teaches the Shinshinkai style of martial arts. In the Maximum Tournament, Yujiro gouged out his eye and nearly killed him. Luckily, he was revived by the Cord Cutter's gay brother who stuck his hand inside Doppo's chest and massaged his heart until it started beating again. He also has a son, Katsumi, who is an arrogant bastard that once punched a gorilla in the face.
Goki Shibukawa
Shibukawa is the requisite "stupid-when-he's-not-fighting-sociopath-when-he-is" character. Despite his senile demeanor and decrepit appearance, he's highly respected among fighters as being a master of his martial art (whatever it's called). In his decades of training, Shibukawa has killed numerous opponents.
Kaoru Hanayama
Hanayama is like a big huggable Teddy Bear. Except when I say Teddy Bear, I mean Teddy Gorilla, and when I say hug, I mean he'll squeeze you until your insides explode from pressure. In the anime, this guy was only 15. What's crazier is that his mom appears to be well into her 70's. How she managed to give birth at such an old age, let alone to someone like Hanayama is a mystery that even the writers of Lost couldn't contrive.
Retsu Kaioh
In the Maxium Tournament, Retsu Kaioh made it to the finals where he was pitted against Baki. As a master of a 1000 year old martial art, you would think that he'd have a chance, right? Wrong. No matter how many boulders Kaioh punched during his training, nothing prepared him for Baki, who had a psychotic breakdown during which he snaps Kaioh's neck. After the tournamnet, he began training at Doppo's dojo.
Assuming that laziness doesn't win the battle again, next week we'll take a look at some of the baddest serial killers on the planet.
Until next time,
BAKI THE GRAPPLER!!!!!!!
February 1, 2010 at 8:27 pm ·
I THINK YOUR TITLE WAS PUNNY.
I'll go hide in a corner now.
That sounds pretty rad, maybe I'll check out Baki, oh goodness.